Life sucks...right now, more than usual.

Can I tell you how absolutely dismaying it is to worry about money EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY OF YOUR LIFE?

I am in no way saying I have it worse than others, not by a long shot. But, dernit...what I wouldn't do for a break. Every time we get semi-good news about finances, something else comes up and bites us on the butt. EVERYTIME!!!

There is something about having a career that I have always wanted and not being able to work. I am sure there are others out there in many different professions that were told, at some point in school, "Oh! You'll ALWAYS have a job in THAT field!"
I call shananigans!
What happened to funding education systems so that kids have better teachers, better schools, more materials, better curriculum, smaller class sizes, etc etc etc ????? How on God's green Earth can we ever hope to have a better society in our country when kids are in overcrowded, unsafe schools with not enough teachers. Especially when the teachers that are there are so over worked, underpaid, and unappreciated that the districts are lucky if all the good ones don't jump ship within 5 years, leaving just the ones that are basically placeholders.

RAGE RAGE GRIPE MOAN WHINE GROAN RAGE!!!!

ok, I feel a little better. I need sake, cuddling, good tv and rest...oh yeah, and a fulltime job that pays my bills. I'll make it, WE will make it, but dagummit, its not going to be fun, I just don't know how to make things seem not-so-sucky right now.

gnight

No more Sickie Me!

That means I no longer have an excuse for not posting my one-a-day pics or anything else.

Update: After subbing at a middle school for 2 days I ended up so sick I couldn't move for 3 days. Not the violently ill, I-think-ima-hurl-if-I-stand-up sick, but this creeping, pervasive, fatigue-ridden exhaustion that accompanied a rather nasty, upper resperatory thing.

I must interject here about something one of the sweet, little GT(Gifted/Talented) 6th graders told me around lunch..."Did you know that Colorado Springs' first case of swine flu was in my mom's classroom?" *Blink* *Stare* *Smile*...(me) "Did your mom get sick?" (cute kid) "Nope!"

*Cough* Can you carry the virus without getting sick???

ANYHOW! I spent 2 full days in bed with the kids either off with my mom, or playing nurse for me. After 2 days of almost continuous sleeping and coughing, I couldn't sleep anymore and made myself get up and moving, thank goodness it was a holiday...cuz it didn't last long. I was supposed to finish a 3rd day at the aforementioned middle school on Tuesday, but only made it through the first 3 classes before I was so worn out that I couldn't talk and barely walk.

Today was much better, even though I was still coughing as I fell asleep last night. I was up by 6 am, the earliest I have HAD to be up on a while. No kids to rush to get up and dressed since I had to be at the high school shortly after the boys wake up...you know, I kind of enjoyed the stillness of the morning. I rarely go outside before 7, I have never been a morning person, but the early morning sun over Colorado rangeland is pretty nifty. Maybe I should be up early more often to see things in a different light. Everything around here looks so much richer in the early morning and late evening.

So, to wrap this up, I am going to post 3 pics to get caught up, the only kink is that they're all from today...can't I cheat a little since I was an invalid?

7/365: Early morning, Colorado sun over the range. The housing ends there on our street.

8/365: Same postion, 180 degrees, our new house.

9/365: Me, early morning sun on my face...

One thing I really like about myself? My eyes. Oh, and my natural bindi!

Ut ohs, no post?

I was bad yesterday, not because I was lazy or didn't want to follow through, but omg I was so sick. Still am. The only picture I took was in my brain, picturing getting out of bed and eating real food. I think I was up and around yesterday for maybe 3 hrs, and most of that was spent saying, gah, I just want to go back to bed. At least I have a voice today, but now my muscles are so sore I can hardly move. I'll spare you all the gorey details, but let's just say my lungs seem to have started their own garden of goo.

I am going to eat my honeydew melon and take something to relieve the pain and try to enjoy the fact that it is quiet here, mom took the kids to church since I can't.

I hope to be back up and running this afternoon, at least partially.

"What a RIPOFF!" 4/365

Says my 12 yr old son upon finding out that the mammoth model his mamah bought him and his brothers was missing a few important pieces...did I mention she got it at our fav local thrift store?

So after 3 fights with his brother about whether it was worth it to put it together or not, and almost ending up in tears, (12 yr old, not me, this time) we finally got things smoothed over to where they got it together and even started to sand it to make it less pokey. Now they're in there working together and being nice whilst beating smooth parts into place. Kinda..I hear screams... /sigh

Day 4/365

"Where's mah leggggz?!?"

3/365

Occasionally, I feel the need to have some good, ol' down home, southern cooking. I have been planning to make jambalaya for nearly 2 weeks and finally got it all together last night, but it wasn't quite ready in time to eat it so I let it simmer and stew most of the night and then half of the day today. Thank goodness, because if I had had to do dinner from scratch today, I probably would've made sammiches. It wasn't a bad day, just a long, everything-caught-up-with-me-today day.
I actually had a really easy sub day with a great group of gifted 6th and 8th graders, but was still super tired by the time I came home. The smell of the jambalaya made me wish it was a chilly, gray fall evening instead of a warm, indian summer one, but it was still nice. As tired as I was, I tried, halfheartedly, to nap for 30 minutes or so just to recharge, but with 4 kids home and no husband to divert their attention from me, the catnap got postponed.
I mentioned before that I love fresh, local produce and got really happy when I found okra at the farmer's market here. Now, I'll be honest, I haven't made fried okra in a long time, and was kind of procrastinating making it because i didn't want to mess it up. I figured it would go well with the stew and some warm, sweet cornbread.
So what did I do different today? I didn't try to do it all myself, which is my normal modus operandi. I called my lazybones daughter from the living room and had her prep, season, bread and fry the okra. I must say, she did a fair job! It was really nice having her in the kitchen, not just to help take some of the work, but just having her around. I am not quite sure why, but there's been a long time that I haven't known how to be around my kids unless I am yelling at them. That's not fair to anyone, no matter how obnoxious they can be. Overall, my kids are amazing, especially Jess. She most definitely has her moments on annoying 13 yr old girl-ness, but she's really grown up a lot the past few years, and is pretty amazing...including all her weirdness, because that's who she is. Honestly, anyone that knew me at or around her age will understand how I really can't say anything much about her being an oddball. That apple certainly didn't fall from from the tree.
So, my take from today? Every now and then, eat comfort food, even if it is fattening as all get out, take a few minutes to just enjoy the kiddos, even when things are difficult...and Let Go, just...not hold on so tight that things slip through my fingers. Love totally, even when its hard to see past the frustrations.
Now to see whether or not I can keep it up without it wearing me down, considering how different it is from my normal state of mind the last few years.

Day 2/365

Meow

I wanna be this kitty

Ok, maybe not BE the kitty, but be relaxed LIKE the kitty

Say hi, Tiggr

(no, there's no E)

Eye Snot!

I think I probably just met the craziest teacher ever, maybe second only to my own HS drama teacher. Today was my first day subbing for the school district that I live in. I was at the alternative school in for a half day for a social studies teacher. She came back in a little early after he doctor appt and says "Hey guys, guess what!?!?! I just got the COOLEST diagnosis EVAR!" Apparently, she had allergies that developed into sinus infection that got so bad that now she wakes up with..."EYE SNOT! Isn't that cool??!?!?!?!" o.O

I wanna be that silly...
She has more energy and spunk than anyone I have ever met, and she has 6 kids...granted the youngest is 22, soooo maybe in...17 years I'll feel like that...gah, I hope it doesn't take that long.

On a side note to that outrageous announcement; apparently while she was in the front office checking in, several of the students that I had earlier in the day came up to her and RAVED about me....me...Wow. The thing that stuck out the most to them? That I didn't talk down to them like they were idiots, that I wasn't scared of them, and that I actually TALKED to them, period. I still get amazed, sometimes, about how so many kids just want someone to treat them like a human being, like they matter.

Why is that such a rare thing to find in teachers, sub and full-time, that students go gaga over an hour with someone that is just THERE to them?

Day 1/365

I took just a little over 10 photos today, once I made my decision to start the whole "A Day in the Life of Draea". I figured that I'd start off with a pic that pretty much sums up my day.

Tuesday, Sept 1, 2009:
-No sub call today, meh
-Not enough sleep last night, bleh
-Morning meeting at my son's middle school to figure out how we can help him care enough about anything to take the initiative to use his God given tools to succeed like every knows he can, gah.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED all day.
No, really;
No kids, hubby home on day off, no money to go have a date lunch or anything and the usual 5 hour maintenance on WoW turned into an ALL DAY server down-nothing to do, AMG I want to stab myself in the eye waste of a day. Sooo, sweet geeky hubby decided (30 minutes before the first kids get home, let me add) to try and build me a better computer from his parts that he just upgraded from.......

So, an hour later, 3 computer towers, and all the guts to match....and we end up putting my puter back together just like it was because my power supply cord was too short for the new motherboard >.<

1/365

I shot the puteeeeer, but i did not shoot its memory!!

Violet, the Spunky Spud

Meet my new friend Violet, isn't she cute? I was making dinner and she just caught my eye!

Ok, so I have always enjoyed fresh, local produce and I got lucky the other day and found a variety pack of potatoes, golld, red, and these gorgeous purples!

Aren't they just gorgeous? Ok, so I am a food geek, ok, so I am a geek in general. But its all good b/c I enjoy it. :o)

So, why am I posting about potatoes?

Because they're cool, fun, interesting, colorful; all the things that I want to be sure to recognize in my daily life, because honestly, on the whole, I haven't seen my life that way in a long time...mostly its like "blaaaaaah".

I am a bad, bad, baaaaaad Blogger

Why am I such a bad Blogger? Because, no matter what interesting, insane, entertaining, sweet, wonderful, amazing things are going on in my life, I forget to post about them.

Bad me

/facepalm

I came to this realization today after enjoying the Envision 2009 blog. One of my bestest besties from high school is a part of it, and I am SOOO looking forward to seeing her year's worth of doc photos unfold. Why did this make me feel bad as a Blogger, you ask? Because, there I was, looking at pics and reading the bios of 82 women that are going to document their lives everyday for so many different reasons. It hit me like a ton of bricks that, like many of them, I still don't really know who I am. There was one bio where the woman could not, satisfactorily, write about herself. She had to go ask friends and family, and even then...it didn't quite fit. That's where I have been in my life for a long time. The last few years have been such chaos and change that I think that I have gotten lost in it and forgotten (intentionally?) that I wanted to find myself again.

So, the result of this realization, I am making the decision to Blog once more. But in all honesty, I think I am going to need a little help remembering that I promised to do this. I am lucky when I remember my address most day, so even though I am on the puter a lot, my amazing camera sits on the shelf as I muddle through daily chaos that would probably make pretty decent doc photos!

Any takers on the recently available position of Blogger Prodder? Multiple applications will be considered...cmon, u know you wanna...

First applicant scared me a little....